My name is Tomasina Catalina Whoopastanna Madelina Frogstails Pigsnails Robinson. I love shimmying up trees, playing horsey on knees, giving dolls a good squeeze. What I don’t like -- more than taking a bath, more than getting the sand scraped off me with a dry towel on the beach, more than fancy pants Mary Lou Catweiler who wears dresses and fingernail polish to school -- more than even that…
I don’t like to say good-bye.
Don’t like it. Won’t say it. Never will. And you can take that to the bank (like Grandpa Robinson says.) Mama says that on the other side of a good-bye is a hello. Daddy says the reason there’s good in good-bye is because there’s something good for you waiting just around the corner.
But as long as my name is Tomasina Catalina whoopastanna Madelina Frogstails Pigsnails Robinson, I won't say good-bye.
It’s moving day. Ever since they moved all the furniture out of the house I have been locked up in my room and I am never coming out. Nope. Not 'till I starve to death and they have to come and get me and put me under the healing tree to bring me back to life. After they promise me never to leave, I’ll take a deep breath and shimmy up that ole tree faster than a frog’s tongue can catch a fly -- faster than Miss Maizie from upthestreet flew out of sight when we showed her that little old garter snake.
You see, that healing tree in our front yard is the best shimmying tree this side of Dell’s candy store with the chocolate, silver-wrapped quarters. It healed my doll, Harietta Marietta Whoopastanna Carietta Elephants Nose Pig’s Toes Robinson, (you can call her Ellie) of the dread Tse Tse virus. It came from the African mosquitoes that flew over in my mom and dad’s garment bag last time they came back from far away. Ellie was just about to bite the dust when I put her under the healing tree and skipped around it seven times (that’s how old I am), covered her with seven healing tree leaves, and spit seven times on the sacred ground.
“Sssssss…shadola doolen. Menola noonan. Mencha kabentcha kadoo.” That’s special healing words for the Tse Tse virus only to be used in between full moons. If you use it on a full moon I cannot be responsible.
Then after Ellie was all better, I took her to Dell’s candy store to get chocolate quarters and watch the fat lady behind the counter turn red when Jim Boy Johnson from the crooked street with the haunted house, sticks his finger in the carrot cake icing.
So, here I sit in my room with the furniture moved out. Just me and Ellie. I am never coming out even if Megan Madison and Carolyn “Crybaby” Crosby and Matthew Dickinson Brown from upthestreet ask me out to play. Even if they’re gonna put Megan’s pet spider, Mr. Longlegs, on “Crybaby” and watch her run home to her mother. No, not even then.
And even though my stomach is screaming for some cheese French fries from Harrison’s Steak and Fries on the big street next to the bowling alley, Ellie and I would just as soon sit.
“Tomasina.” Uh oh. It’s my dad. I whisper to Ellie.
“As long as my name is Tomasina Catalina Whoopa…when I hear.
“Tomasina Felicia Ann Robinson. Open up this door.”
Why it’s Grandpa Robinson all the way from the big city that never sleeps, knocking on my door. I forget all about Ellie and about the healing tree and about even saying good-bye and run to the door to greet Grandpa.
I throw open the door. There stands Grandpa Robinson and mom and dad and “Crybaby” Crosby and Matthew Dickinson Brown and Megan Madison and Jim Boy Johnson and even Mary Lou Catweiler with orange fingernail polish.
Grandpa says, “Hello Tommy.”
“Hello Grandpa Robinson,” I say.
“Just came from the city that never sleeps to tell you that I’ll be coming to your new home with you 'till you get settled in…and you can take that to the bank.”
